January 16, 2011

Controlling The Inner Pervert

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Men have two heads. The big head, and the little head (the smaller, more purple one). The problem is, in the average male, although the purple head is smaller, it is also more powerful than the big head. That is why they say, "It has a mind of its own."

Many times when I suggest that men should practice self-control, discipline, and restraint, I know it is not easy. As a male, I know how powerful the little head can be. Why do you think psychologists say men have a sexual thought every 20 seconds? That is the little head doing the thinking. And if you think with your little head, it is going to lead you around by the 'you know what', and cause you to waste time, money, and energy. Resources which could be put to better use.

Just today (26 July 2008), I was walking to lunch with a friend along Singapore's Arab street when I passed by a serious-looking Chinese businessman in a short-sleeved shirt — about 48 years-old with a royal belly, a shock of grey hair, and a large mole on his left cheek.

He looked fine and proper, but what unnerved me was the way he looked at the two women who were passing on my right. He kept a straight face, but the intensity of his gaze told me he was visualising something in his mind. As he walked pass the women, his right hand reached down and groped his crotch, a slight curl appeared at the corner of his mouth. Then he noticed me watching, his facial expression tightened and became blank. I looked away pretending not to notice.

The world is getting pretty perverted and sexuality is out of control. In public spaces, men stare lustfully at women's bodies, commenting about how big or how small, giving the woman a ‘hotness rating' on a scale of one to ten. Comic books depict sexual acts with alien tentacles, French maids, sibling incest and other unmentionables.

This perversion is further fuelled by the media. Splash open any urban magazine for men or women, and you will be assaulted by the number of sexy pictures and juicy stories. The risqué tolerance is so high that a breast is not considered exposed as long as it has two little stickers or two fingers covering the nipples.

All this leads to a perversion of the mind. A guy once asked me, "How do I make money and be productive? All I like to do is watch porn and spank my monkey."

"What would you do if you had money?" I asked.

"Get laid, of course!" he exclaimed.

"Well, you are getting laid by your hand," I replied.

Inside my heart, I understood his pain and his underlying desires. Every man has the drive to procreate, or there would not be six billion of us on Earth. Somebody was doing the humping.

Yet, if this guy had money, he would definitely turn into a player and wreck havoc in many women's lives.

"But... what's wrong with that?" I hear someone say. "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

Well, according to Karmic Law, the amount of emotional pain a player causes to someone, is said to be multiplied and returned to them at a later stage in their life. By hurting others, we create lessons for ourselves.

The problem with the player is that he or she does not respect a person as an individual. But rather, they see the opposite sex as their plaything or toy. A human being becomes an object rather than a person with dreams and desires of their own. They have no qualms about going in and messing up someone's life for their own pleasure. How would you like it if someone comes into your life, wins over your heart and then crushes it? Throughout the Ages, what women have yearned for is sincerity, but what they get are wolves in sheep skin.

That might not be the end of it... a scorned ex-lover might approach a witch or a voodoo master to place a curse. The victim’s luck might reverse; their whole life could turn upside down. And worse, they would not even know why.

Saying 'I love you' without meaning it can be dangerous because 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'.  I suppose you could also say, '...like a man scorned'. But men would more likely take direct action like murder rather than use magic.

When we see people as objects rather than individuals, we say insensitive things like, 'fatter than Jupiter', or 'he's so bald I can see my reflection' or 'boobs like an airplane tarmac' and 'her face is uglier than my dog's'. Maybe it is funny, but it is also painful for the person it is directed at. Avoid judging people as objects.

If you do judge people in this way, then we might say your mind is infected with a cultural disease. You need to be cured. And the first step to the curing of a diseased mind is the removal of mental trash. Cut the intake of media which discusses and disrespectfully displays people as objects. These include gossip magazines and tabloid news, internet porn sites, and trash TV.

Just like how junk food spoils your body, junk content spoils your mind. Some people close their eyes and all they can see are pornographic images; then they complain they seem unable to accomplish anything worthwhile. Remember the computer term, GIGO — Garbage In Garbage Out — what you get out of yourself, is only as good as the content you put in.

If you can adopt these three habits: 1) Respect people as individuals, 2) Avoid hurting others through words or actions, and 3) Cut the intake of mental trash, you will come closer to developing a personality which people love and appreciate. Your refined character will attract new people into your life (possibly romance). The removal of mental garbage will give you more clarity of purpose to enhance your vision and direction in life. Plus, the mental space allows you to think and reflect deeply.

Another thing you can do is not try and pick up every person you meet. Everyone has their own life to lead, and they would be better off if you did not interfere with their life's path. Messing with other people just for the fun of it will invite problems into your own life. Only do it when you are pure in intention.

Finally, replace your gossip magazines and porn with some good books and engaging hobbies. Simply channel your extra energy into worthwhile pursuits. That will help you grow into a more interesting and well-rounded individual.

These three qualities are important in developing an optimal character, but there are more I will share with you in future. I will attempt to expound on these unique characteristics in each article I write.

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