Overcoming Loneliness

One of the major complaints I've heard about being alive is the pain of loneliness. In this day and age, many people live isolated lives of quiet desperation.

They go to work in the morning, come back in the evening, heat up a microwave dinner, switch on the TV, stone for two hours, drink some alcohol, maybe surf the Internet, then fall asleep.

In the past, it was not easy for a person to lead an isolated lifestyle. Everything we needed to survive had to come through interaction with other people. For example, buying bread from the baker, and meat from the butcher.

In the past, there were no huge supermarkets where you could do all your grocery shopping in silence; quietly comparing prices by yourself. You had to talk to different people to get what you need.

The increase in convenience has probably increased our separation from others. Do any of you talk to the fellow at the checkout counter? You could complete the entire transaction in silence if you wanted to. Just nod your head, pay your money and carry on.

Thirty years ago, there were no fancy computer games, no Xbox, PlayStation, or the Internet to feed your entertainment needs. If you wanted fun, you would have to play a game with others. Whether it was a table game like Chess or Scrabble, or a physically active one like the Kampong (village) game, chaptek, where players do kicking stunts with a flat rubber shuttlecock.

In your school days, you probably played many such games with your friends during canteen breaks or after school. But as we age, many of us lose touch with this precious joy that comes from group games and sport.

There are good reasons why you should shut off your TV and gather your friends for a game or two. The Church understands this principle well. They call it fellowship. Cell group leaders will take the effort to organise group activities, outings, games, discussions, pot luck dinners and more. Friends can bring new friends — the more the merrier.

In my opinion, they are doing a great job of helping people experience the joy of being together. This is a condition you might want to create in your life. Whether you want to join a fellowship organisation, a special interest group, a book club, a school alumni, or simply call up old friends, every one of us needs to work at reconnecting ourselves with others. Especially when you live in a world designed to convenience you into separation and isolation.

You can be happy with a moderate lifestyle. Many people believe they can only be happy with a lifestyle of the rich and famous. They want to jet-set around the world, have multi-cultural affairs, swim in the opulent blue pools of Miami and such.

Now as fantastic as that sounds, there are many rich people who are experiencing loneliness in life. They think everyone around them is just there for their money and nobody really loves them for who they are. As the old saying goes, 'it gets lonely at the top'.

And these people at the top of the pyramid are experiencing their disconnection from the rest of the world. So you see, the problem is the same. What they want and what we want, is a genuine connection to those around us.

And money cannot buy love... it takes an investment of your time, energy, and emotions, to build trusting relationships.

If you consider that every one of us is a soul animating a physical body, then on a spiritual level, we are all connected because all spirit emanates from the same source — God.

(When I speak of God, I mean so in the universal sense as a higher power and not biased to a particular religious order.)

As children of God, we are here to explore and learn from each other. Thus the magic is hidden in our interaction.

Spending time to know others can help you learn more about yourself.

When you play games with others, you learn the importance of sharing and taking turns; offering others encouragement, complimenting their efforts; building camaraderie and deeper bonds. You sense the joy of giving to others, the joy of competition, and the joy of fellowship that becomes rare in a fast-paced world.

Loneliness and boredom happens when we isolate ourselves; thinking that this is the norm when it is actually an abnormality of the human condition.

So now is the time to experience joie de vivre (joy of life) by reaching out and connecting with others. Rid yourself of those old isolation policies and start trading with other people. You'll find that the magic of living is found in connecting your heart to others around you.

Touch the spirit in every person.