Message for World Peace

Saw this video of this young singer, Declan Galbraith... he's really good for his age. He was 10 years old in this video. Today he's around 16. This song, "Tell Me Why" is an inspirational outcry against war and oppression. I believe he carried the message across pretty well. It will be great if he continues to use his talent to promote awareness of important social issues. Keep it up, Declan!

A Father's Love for His Disabled Son

I saw this video six months ago, and it touched my heart. To me it represents a role model we can all follow, not only to our own children, but perhaps to our fellow man. Do check it out. I think it'll be worth your time for the inspiration and contrast it brings to your life.

Figuring Out Who You Are

Janet asks: "How do you figure out who you are and to be happy with yourself?"

Hi Janet, you're asking a deep question. The first part about figuring out who you are, depends on your level of self-awareness. How well do you know your own temperament and personality; your strengths and weaknesses; your talents and abilities? People seeking to know themselves often engage in a process of self-discovery, where they question their purpose for living and why they are here. Now this is not an instant 20 minute process, some people take weeks and years to figure out who they are. The process is gradual with corrections along the way.

Okay, so now let me give you a metaphor for figuring out who you are. Imagine you are a heroine on a journey through life. Now every hero needs a quest or purpose or ultimate goal. Who decides what this ultimate purpose is? The hero of course. So you need to create your own ultimate goal to aim for, which will give meaning to your life. The same applies to your personality. You need to CHOOSE who you want to be. All self is self-created. We decide who we want to be and then through our actions and behaviors we manifest that person into reality.

When we were young, many of us had dreams of what we would like to be, do, and have in life. But too many years of hard schooling and laborious work wiped those dreams from our mind. We are brainwashed to conform to the norm of society, leaving our individuality behind. So now we need to reclaim that younger part of ourselves which was buried under the stresses of growing up and adjusting ourselves to fit into the world.

The truth about you is that you are much more than you think you are. What you conceive to be yourself is just that – a conception. The true nature behind that self-concept is far greater. As you mature, the clouds of your personality’s fixations can dissipate, and then you can gradually witness who you truly are.

For the second part of your question about being happy with yourself, it is related to the first part about being self-aware. If you know who you are currently, and who you want to be in the future, the gap between where you are now and where you want to be can affect your happiness.

The greater the gap, the less happy people are with themselves. Of course, this does not apply to all people, especially if they can see beyond the gap and realize that happiness is found in the present moment. So, just be happy because the condition of your Self is in a constant state of change. Another five years down the road, you might have transformed again. If we keep looking to the future for happiness, we will never realize how fortunate we are, right now.

Nature of Stress and How to Be Worry Free

Life can be stressful. To some people, it’s like living in a tornado of problems. Everyday work can be a source of stress. So can email, projects, school assignments; requests from other people, deadlines, bills and often relationships too. All these things can frustrate us, causing us to wrinkle our faces with worry, get fatter from binging, lose hair from over-thinking and thus become unwanted, unattractive human beings. Maybe it’s that we’re not making enough money or underperforming at school; can’t afford the new Mercedes or someone at work is pissing us off. Different things frustrate different people.

So as the situation gets worse and the stress builds inside us, we feel we can’t escape. We tell ourselves, “Yes, I can do it! I need to be strong!” But more work and more pain keeps heading our way. We reach the point of wanting to punch something or rip our hair out.

We can scream and shout and bash the pillows, but after all that, most people just breakdown and cry. After all our tantrum throwing and release of energy, the problem still hasn’t been solved. It’s still there, laughing us in the face saying, “Naa na ni boo boo! You can’t catch me!” So how do we escape from this stress?

Do you know the secret? You can’t handle stress by fighting or resisting it. You have to let go – release your grip and the need to control the situation. This is easy for me to say, difficult for you to do. I know. But if you let me explain a bit more about the nature of stress and how we can deal with it, you’ll realise it’s easy to relax and be worry-free.


The Nature of Stress

Stress comes from within. It is an internal reaction to an external event. We like to think that it’s all these things on the outside which are stressing us, but in reality, it’s the way we perceive and feel about these external events which causes our stress.

Two people can see the same thing and feel differently about it. A woman may think babies are adorable; an old miser may think babies are irritating and expensive. Likewise, what looks like office politics and backstabbing to one person, may just be a misunderstanding to another.

How we see a situation determines how we feel about it. So if you feel strongly about anything, whether anger, jealousy, frustration or more, ask yourself, “Am I perceiving this in the right way? Is there another way I can look at this situation? What if I were in my mother’s shoes or friend’s shoes? What if I were an angel? How would God look at this situation?” Sometimes you’ve got to step outside yourself and pretend you’re someone else. There you’ll find a fresh perspective which can help you see the situation from a more objective state of mind.

Frustration can arise from conditions we set upon ourselves and others. These expectations are marked out by the words have to and must.

If I say to myself, “I must be number one!” Then that ‘must be’ creates a division between where I am and where I want to be. Thus I cannot be happy until I have achieved my goal. The easier way is to release the conditions you have upon yourself. Let go of musts and have tos, and replace them with can and could. Try it and feel the difference.

How does ‘I can be number one’ feel compared to ‘I must be number one’? Doesn’t it feel like a condition has been released? There’s no more pressure from your self. Why give yourself added pressure when the world is already such a stressful place? As long as we don’t have to be something, there is no internal pressure to resist. When there is no resistance, there is no stress.

As an example, imagine you are sitting in an old clunky mini-bus going down a bumpy road in Baghdad. You are sleepy but can’t fall asleep because the bus is constantly bouncing around. The muscles in your body are tense. You are resisting the movement of the bus. But if you relax your body and allow it to go limp and become one with the motion of the bus, you’ll find it really easy to fall asleep because now you are no longer resisting – there is no stress.

Over the course of your whole life, you’ll probably meet many setbacks and challenges. Maybe a person gets divorced; maybe they get fired; maybe both happen to them on the same day.

Boy, if I were in those shoes, I’d want to kill myself too.

But looking at it over the course of a whole life, I realize this is only one moment in time, and it has already passed. There is still much joy and beauty to experience in years ahead. This challenging experience would make a good story to tell the grandchildren and even old friends as we sit around a campfire roasting marshmallows and drinking hot chocolate.


Doing What Makes a Difference

Many people are stressed because they have too many things to do. I’m sure if you take a piece of paper and list down all the things which are demanding your attention, you could easily fill the page.

All these things which you ‘must do’ or ‘have to do’ usually come with deadlines which compel us to run all over the shop to satisfy other people’s demands.

In the end, after doing all the bullshit, we still feel we haven’t accomplished anything significant in our lives. That’s because we’ve spent all our time doing the urgent things for others, and sacrificing what’s important to ourselves.

Am I encouraging you to be selfish? In this sense, yes – I’m asking you to be clear on what you want and what you value in life. What do you find to be important and what makes a difference to you? What is your scorecard for life?

What I mean by scorecard is that traditionally people rate each others success based on how much they earn, how attractive their spouse is, how physically fit they are; how much respect, reputation or fame they have. Is that the way you rate your own life? Are those your measurements of a life well-lived? That’s why I’m asking you to decide what’s important because many people don’t set their own goals, and thus judge themselves by a scorecard which means nothing to them.

Learn to play a game with yourself – the game of life. Write out a few goals that are important to you and stick it to your wall. At the end of the day, before you sleep, count how many things you have done today which have brought you closer to accomplishing your goals. If your count is zero, then realize that you have spent your day doing the urgent things which don’t contribute to your ultimate happiness.

If you have to do the urgent stuff to get by and survive, it’s okay. But at least make time once a day to do what you feel is important. Just this simple act will give you a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Your frustration levels will decrease as you free yourself from the trappings of urgency and move through your life with purpose and peace in your heart.

Rain Glass - Chapter One

What’s it about?

Rain Glass is a simple story about two men of different backgrounds who meet in a park one rainy day. One helps the other realize an important lesson about life and happiness.

RAIN GLASS

by Lance Ong

__________________________

CHAPTER 1

HEART'S DESIRE

The rain poured onto the streets of New York. Old newspapers soaked into grey sheets of mush. George Hartley sits alone on a park bench in the showering rain. The surrounding trees and flora vibrate; pelted by water bullets. Holding a coffee and a cigarette, he hunches forward, takes in a slow puff, then exhales, and sips his drink. Water drips down his face. Up till about 20 minutes ago, George was a marketing executive who worked at the office on Fifth Avenue, a few blocks from here.

He looks at his Omega watch. It’s 2.35pm on a rainy Wednesday. Not really time to do anything or go anywhere. There was nowhere to go anyway. No work to do, no wife to love, no kids to take care of. ‘Total freedom finally,’ George mutters as he stretches back on the bench feeling the patter of the rain on his face; the warm wetness of his shirt and overcoat weighed him down. He closes his eyes and imagines what it would be like to sleep in the rain forever.

Minutes pass.

‘Hey man, mind if you move over?’ a voice shakes him from his dream. George observes the man for a moment – early twenties, dressed in tattered rags and smelling like liquor – obviously a hobo.

‘Sure, why not?’ says George. He moves over to one side of the bench, allowing the man the other half.

The hobo drops his bag onto the pavement and takes a seat on the bench. ‘Thanks fella,’ he says. George lets a slight smile but remains silent.

‘Nice day, isn’t it?’ the ragged man asks.

‘Yeah… it’s my first day taking a natural shower,’ George replies.

‘How’s it feel?’

‘Feels good.’ George smiles.

‘Glory of God, ain’t it? Nature is magic,’ the pauper holds out his hand to catch the rain. ‘This weather we curse is the same one that brings us life.’ He pauses and turns to George. ‘So what’s your story, paardner?’

‘I quit my job today,’ says George looking down sadly.

‘Quit yer job? That’s cool! Never needed one of those pieces of trash anyway!’ the hobo grins. ‘Look at me fella, I never went to school. I’m still doing fine. Mom & Pops died in a plane crash when I was fourteen! Been on the streets ever since.’

‘I see… I’m sorry.’ George’s eyes soften as he realizes there is someone in a worse plight than himself.

‘Why’d ya quit ya job? Got bored of it?’

‘Well,’ George sighs. ‘I really hate someone there. This guy just really got on my nerves. Arrogant bastard, I could almost strangle him.’ George rings an imaginary neck with his hands.

‘Then why didn’t you?’ The vagrant leans in with wide-eyed curiosity.

‘Kill the guy? Hah. Well, he’s my boss. If I killed him, everyone would know that, wouldn’t they?’

Silence passes as the two men go deep in thought. Only the sound of the rain slapping the ground and the rays of the sun can be felt.

‘Tell you what, my friend,” says George. ‘Are you hungry? Let’s take a walk and get a hot meal somewhere.’

‘Sure thing, I’m starving.’ the hobo says.

The two men stand up, helping each other with their bags; one a polished leather briefcase, the other a worn-out polyvinyl sack.

‘By the way, my name’s George, what’s yours?’

‘Samuel’s the name, you can call me Sam.’

*** *** ***

Walking into Smeg’s Deli, there are only a handful of diners at 3 o’clock. George asks the waiter for a corner table where it’s cosier. Sam follows from behind but the waiter stops him.

‘No problem there, he’s with me,’ says George, slipping a twenty dollar bill into the waiter’s hand. ‘Bring us the best beef you’ve got.’

Sam gives the waiter the middle finger as he passes. The waiter smiles politely.

They slump into the cushioned red leather seats, the polished teakwood table reflecting their faces. The atmosphere has a warm western feel, with wild fixtures like the bull head skeleton attached to the wall. In the corner, a golden jukebox plays pop country from Garth Brooks and Dolly Parton.

‘So why’d you hate your boss so much?’ asks Sam, tinkering his fork against an empty glass.

‘My boss…’ George’s face changes to one of displeasure. ‘Well, he’s an asshole; tried to steal my girlfriend.’ The ex high-flying executive clenches his jaws and drops his fist on the table.

‘And he got her! She left me because he was more successful, better looking, and a sweeter talker than I am.’

‘Oh, now I think you should kill him,’ nods Sam. ‘But do you think she’s really worth it? That girl and all? I mean, if she would leave you just like that, she’s probably the Queen of Gold-diggers!’

‘Don’t talk about Monique like that!’ snaps George. ‘We were about to be engaged.’

‘Mm, Monique sounds unique. But you’d really be in trouble then – she’d take all your money and run. Listen buddy, I may just be a homeless bum, but I know how to handle my bitch. You gotta let her know who’s boss!’

They make eye contact for a few seconds… then laugh together. George nods his head. ‘Yeah, she probably didn’t love me much. Probably wanted to squeeze me dry. Lucky I let that bitch take Aaron instead. I fed him to the dogs! But I can’t get over the feeling of losing to that asshole.’

‘What specifically does he have that you do not have?’ Sam asks thoughtfully.

George shrugs. ‘Better looks, more money, faster car? And my hot babe.’

Sam thinks for a moment then says, ‘Well, let me ask you this… 20 years in the future, how old will you be?’

‘55.’

‘Well, at 55, do you think those things will matter to you anymore?’

George puts his hand to his chin and ponders.

Sam continues, ‘At 55, your skin will be wrinkled like a prune. Your eyes will be so blasted; the only thing you can drive will be your lawnmower. You can still get hot babes with money, but I don’t think you can have fun without some help.’ Sam shows George a small gap with his thumb and index finger.

‘Little George can stand by himself, thank you.’

‘You know what I think is the problem with all you rich people?’ Sam points to the glass cup on the table.

‘Everyone starts out with an empty glass in life. It can hold anything you want. It’s your free choice to decide what you want to fill it up with. Some people like to drink whiskey. For others, clear water is best. Some people fill their glass to the brim, wanting to gulp down more experiences and more passion. Others fill it to half, preferring to save and savour what they get. You pick your pleasures… and whether it poisons you or helps you grow depends on the choice you’ve made. You decide whether whiskey is better than water or water is better than wine.’

Sam picks up the glass and observes it in the light.

‘You might have a beautiful life – you can be rich, have an excellent career, good health, great friends, and a deep relationship with your lover – yet like glass, it’s fragile and shatters on impact. Like how your skull cracks when you smash through your windscreen in a car accident. Was it your fault? Maybe not, you could have been killed by a drunk. But still, everything you’ve worked for until then has ended. Has your life been worth it?’

Sam puts the glass down and steeples his hands.

‘That’s why it’s important to realize that each day we are alive is a gift – treasure it; make the best of it. Many people can’t appreciate what they have… always looking for the bigger house, the better car, the prettier spouse. They can’t let themselves be happy until they have attained these imaginary must-haves. Life becomes a race to get nowhere.’

He looks at George and puts a hand on his shoulder.

‘You know happiness is a state of mind, don’t you? I can sit right here, owning nothing and feel good. Like how you were sitting in the rain, enjoying nature’s shower? All it takes is for you to find peace within yourself.’

‘You’re sounding awfully intelligent for a homeless man,’ George breaks his speech.

Sam chuckles, ‘Well, the streets teach you things. Plus, I like to visit your state library. It’s free, you know?’

‘Okay wait,’ George interrupts. ‘So if life is a glass, and glass is transparent; things should be crystal clear for me now, shouldn’t they? But they aren’t. I just quit my job, I don’t where to go, what to do…’

Sam pushes the cup into George’s hands.

‘Look through this.’ Sam instructs. ‘Do things look straight to you?’

George holds the whiskey glass up to his eye and sees a distorted fractal image of his surroundings.

Sam explains, ‘Like how a glass distorts images, our view of life gets distorted as we see only through our own eyes and are limited by our experience and point of view. This distortion affects your ability to see the possibilities in your life. So if you can expand your thinking – listen to others who have succeeded, travel more, read into new fields of knowledge, you will see more chances to get from where you are to where you can be.’

‘That’s easy to say,’ George replies. ‘You see, I have a unique problem. I have been working so long for my company; I don’t really know what to do with my life if I’m not working. How can I know where I want to be?’

Two sizzling hotplates of prime tenderloin steak arrive. Buttered baked potatoes and steamed broccoli with carrots on the sides.

‘Mushroom sauce please,’ Sam calls out to the waitress.

‘Black pepper for me,’ says George.

Sam slices his steak and puts it in his mouth, savouring the smoky sweet flavour of the beef.

‘Mmm, mmm. Never had food this good since ninety-nine,’ he mumbles through his juicy mouthful.

He pours a glass of ice water from the pitcher and takes a sip. Then answers George’s question on “being”.

‘To know where you want to be has nothing to do with your ability to see, but everything to do with what you feel. It’s about knowing your innermost desire. Like, why did you take black pepper sauce instead of mushroom sauce like me?’

‘Well, I like the taste of black pepper sauce; the spiciness adds excitement to every bite.’

The waitress brings the sauces and pours a generous serving for both men.

‘That’s right,’ Sam points out. ‘You liked it. It brought you excitement. Those are feelings. When something is right for us, there’s a natural sense of fun, engagement and interest. If it’s not right for you, you’ll feel disappointed, frustrated; even angry. How often do we not listen to our hearts and keep doing things that frustrate us?’

‘All the time...’ George mumbles.

‘You see that some people dislike their jobs, yet they put up with it for the income it generates. I’m glad you’ve freed yourself of a painful situation and given yourself the opportunity to finally do what you want. Life’s too short to be carrying grudges or be stuck doing something you hate. You’ve only got about 70 years to live your life to fullest. Now which image of your future or vision in your mind excites and inspires you the most? Have you ever searched your feelings while dreaming about these things?’

‘I don’t know… I… I guess I never tried.’

Sam sighs, ‘If you never try, you’ll never know.’

George frowns, then says, ‘You know Sam, if you have such a powerful mindset and can tell me how to live my life, how come you’re still a hobo?’

Sam purses his lips, taken aback by George’s comment.

The well-dressed executive continues, ‘Shouldn’t a man like you be living his life to the fullest? Why are you still on the streets?’

‘Well,’ Sam replies softly. ‘I like it here. This is my home. I have family on the streets. I don’t need to make a lot of money nor do I desire the high life. It seems pointless to me. Look at it this way… one man’s meat is another man’s poison. To you, perhaps my life is not ideal, but to me, it is fulfillment of my destiny. Maybe you might say what kind of destiny is that? But I’ll tell you, it’s the one I’ve chosen.’

George nods then smiles, ‘Thanks Sam, I see what you mean. You’ve given me a new perspective on things. I guess I owe you one.’

‘No problem, I thank you for this meal,’ Sam says warmly.

‘You know, if you need some help getting back on your feet, I know some people…’

‘Well, thanks George. I’m fine with my life as it is. This is a peaceful existence for me. I am listening to my heart’s desire; it’s where I want to be.’

‘I respect that. Thank you for helping me uncover a truth my friend. I have been fooling myself all these years into doing something I never really liked. It’s time to start afresh, and follow my heart’s desire.’

They finish a fine meal and bid their goodbyes. George slips a thousand dollar bill into Sam’s overcoat – for his friends and family on the street.