Once I had someone ask me whether there was any greater meaning in this world beyond just making money and living in luxury. She said it seemed the whole culture was just obsessed with becoming rich; nobody seemed to care what we were here for, or whether there was any meaning in this existence.
Here is a little event that set me thinking: While I was in Borders bookstore, an old man sat down beside me and began to talk.
He had kind eyes; a very dignified old man. Looking at him, I recognised a friend, even though we had never met. Norman shared with me some of his life experiences and I began to understand how a man of his age might view the world. Then I asked...
“Norman, do you think that at your age, you have achieved your purpose in life?”
“Well,” he replies. “My life is in God’s hands… I go where he takes me. But I can tell you this: The world today is too materialistic… no good… no good at all.”
Then he goes silent, as if in some sort of deep thought. His words echo in my mind. This, from someone who had lived seven decades more than I. So it really made me wonder what we should value in life and where we should channel our energies.
Out of the entire world’s population, most of us will never live the high life. That is reserved for the top 1% of rich and wealthy – about 60 million people. Let’s not forget that the world has approximately 6 billion people, so there are another 5.9 billion who form our middle and lower class.
Economists have discovered a problem: The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer, creating greater disparity between the haves and have-nots. World Bank reports show that many people do not have enough money to ensure a comfortable retirement, and that there is not enough funds stored in pension plans to cater for the ageing baby-boomers.
In China, social trends like an ageing population, longer lifespan, and the one-child policy, predict disaster: Soon China will have less and less adults supporting an overwhelming number of elders.
Everyone will be clamouring to earn as much as they can to pay for hospitals, day care, medication, treatments, and such. The population is desperate to build wealth. On one hand, they want to live the good life; on the other, their financial responsibilities are heavy, so they are denied the ideal lifestyle.
This trend exists not only in China, but in many first world countries with ageing populations. So perhaps now it makes sense why everyone is obsessed with becoming rich.
So it looks like most of us will never get to see the yacht and mansion lifestyle of the rich and famous. However, I have an alternative view of life. When you look through the world through this point of view, you can forgive yourself for not making enough money. You can earn your money in a relaxed manner, which allows you to enjoy your life before it is over.
The view is like this: Like suckling infants, we expect Mother Earth to make us content; we expect God to fulfil our needs; we expect the world to be as we want it. When we awaken to the harsh reality of ‘earning a living’ and ‘working to survive’, then we see money as our only buffer against the pain of poverty – the key to having all that we want, the way to the luxuries and experiences which will bring us joy and contentment.
Without enough money, it feels like we are being denied all the nourishment and joy which was promised. So we enter the rat race, studying for 16 years then rushing out to the working world where we spend another 40 years climbing the corporate ladder, while raising a family at the same time.
The fundamental problem comes from doing things for the wrong reasons. Most people do not understand their inner desires. That which drives us to do what we do, is mostly animal instinct. The instinct to procreate, the drive to earn as much as we can – for example: to prove I’m a capable man worthy of procreating with. “Look, I can protect the children. Look, I can bring home the bacon. Look, I’m a sexy guy – I work out – good in bed!”
So with this survival, mating, or animal instinct creating desire within us, we tell ourselves, “I must be rich! I must be good-looking! I must be better then them!” And all these ‘musts’ cause us much frustration, especially when we do not have deeper reasons for why we ‘must be’ something.
I do not mean that we should give up trying to self-actualise or become who we are meant to be… what I mean is that we should do it for the soulful reasons. Go beyond your survival and mating instinct and find deeper meaning for doing what you do.
If you want to become rich, do it not just for the opposite sex or because you love luxury, do it because you want to invent something new; for the security of your family, or because you want to experience the world and money is the ticket.
Know your reasons because they are the driving force of your achievements. If you do things just out of sex or pleasure drive, you might run out of steam because as you get older, mating loses its appeal.
In the material world, everything is death-bound, meaning that it will come to an end. Stars like Marilyn Monroe and Elvis died at the peak of their careers. They had everything – money, good looks, great career, fantastic house, boyfriends, and girlfriends – but in the end, it is all death-bound.
If you want true inner peace, then practice non-attachment. Realise that there is nothing you really have to do in this lifetime, only that which you want to. All the material objects and desires we chase are illusions which keep you trapped in a never-ending struggle and pursuit for more.
If you can understand that material luxuries and pleasures are all just on loan to you in this lifetime, then you can approach life in a different way. No longer will you sacrifice your life to chase the almighty dollar, but stop and consider what is your purpose and mission on Earth.
For if everyone that’s born on this planet just needs to earn enough money and hump each other’s brains out, then that would be a mundane existence indeed. There is something special for you to do in this world. But it is not for me to tell… even if I tried, I can only suggest what it might be.
So to answer the question set out at the beginning: There is nothing wrong with wanting to make money, it is necessary for survival. However, it is important to look at what you’re contributing your life towards. When you are old, like Norman, can you look back on all you have done and appreciate the contribution you have made? Beyond just making money and raising a family, can you say, “I have achieved my life’s purpose”?
In a conversation with a friend, he asked a good question. He asked, “What constitutes a life purpose?” I said, “Contribution – something you give to society or the world. Something you love. Something you are willing to suffer for. Something you will do even if no one pays you."
November 08, 2006
March 08, 2006
The World's Greatest Lie...
"Everyone believes the world's greatest lie..." says the mysterious old man.
"What is the world's greatest lie?" the little boy asks.
The old man replies, "It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie."
(An excerpt from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. A fable about following your dreams.)
Do you believe you have no control over your life? Are you who you are today, by choice or by fate? Will a change in your actions create a change in your life? Many people have given up on their dreams... they say, "Dreaming is only for the rich. When you have money, you can dream. When you have no money, don't dream."
That's true... not everyone is lucky enough to be born with a silver spoon. If you are lacking in funds, it's going to be difficult to start living life the way you want to. Money buys you freedom to follow your passions. But you don't have to give up on your dreams, just because you lack money. Depending on where you are brought up, you will face limitations depending on your family finance, culture, and environment. Some of us are born to have easy lives, while some are born to take a more challenging path. Perhaps the limitations and obstacles you face today are part of your journey -- you must overcome them to grow stronger on the path to achieving your goals.
When we are young, we all seem to have clear idea of what we want to be when we grow up. But somewhere along the way, these dreams get buried under the reality of daily living. The focus shifts from 'living the dream' to just 'finding a good job with a stable income'. "Survival first", as they call it. The sad part is that many people spend much of their lives doing what they don't like, so they can finally earn enough to start doing what they do like. I say, that's a great way to bury your happiness and turn into an economic slave. Doing what you dislike, day after day, will numb the sense of joy within you. Soon you will feel that your life has no greater purpose, and there is nothing to look forward to but work, work, work.... You will have forgotten how much fun it is to spend your time doing the things you like to do.
The Secret to Living Your Dreams
It's painful if you don't make enough money to live comfortably. But what’s more painful is if the work you do has no meaning to you. Everyday you can drag yourself to work, perform meaningless actions, and then drag yourself back home. Apart from sleeping, work takes up the majority of our time. So if you're not enjoying your work, you're not enjoying your life. And life is so short, isn't it? We probably have less than a hundred years to make our mark in this world. And you never know... you fail to look while crossing the road and BOOM! You could be gone tomorrow. So why spend your life doing something you don't like to do? We don't slog three-quarters of our lives just so we can enjoy one-quarter... we might not live that long. Realize that the essence of your life is happening right now -- you are walking a path; making your journey through life. And if the work you do, is not designed to help you fulfill your higher purpose in life, then perhaps you are walking in the wrong direction. No point taking this path... change direction.
For your dream to stay alive, you have to act on it. It's like a fire that grows brighter and stronger if you fan its flames and keep adding wood. If you leave the fire alone, never doing anything to keep it alive, it will burn itself out. When you fail to act on your dreams, they die.
A little girl called Leanne wants to be a ballerina. But her family is poor and unable to afford the fees of the fine arts dance school. Her father tells her not to dream because dreaming is only for the rich. But her mother says, "Lea, you can be whatever you want to be. As long as you put your heart into it, and never give up. Always hold on to your dreams because when there's a will, there's a way."
Leanne remembered her mother's words. She paid her way through a college degree in the fine arts, using money she earned from working full-time. She was talent scouted by the Royal Dance and Music Theatre of England, where she began her illustrious career as a ballerina. Earning in British pounds, she made more than enough to support her family and give them a comfortable lifestyle.
Leanne had a choice... to fervently believe in her dreams, and do whatever it takes to achieve it, or believe the World's Greatest Lie... that at some point in her life, she lost control, and fate took over. She had to have the courage to step up to her dreams, and not give up just because she lacked money. If she listened to her father and put her love aside because dreaming was only for the rich, then she wouldn't have lived to experience her passion. She would pass on from this world, with the music still left within her... buried under some obscure belief that she could never make money doing what she loved to do.
There is music within you, and you only need to coax it out. The daily grind forces us to forget what we love to do. Imagine you're retired… You have enough money to live comfortably, but not to splurge. How would you spend your time? What activities would you find purpose in? What would you do to amuse yourself? If you have an idea of what you would love to do but are not doing, then schedule some time everyday to do it. Making time for what you love is just like fanning the flames of your passion -- the fire can only grow stronger. It's what will bring a sense of purpose and meaning into your life; that spark of joy and wonder.
The happiest people are those who enjoy their work. They've managed to make money doing what they love to do, just like Leanne. And this can happen for you... if you are willing to reject the World's Greatest Lie. Realize that you always have control over your actions, and therefore your results. The only time your start to fail in life, is when you stop believing in your ability to make a difference. You don't need a silver spoon; you don't need to be a genius. What you need is a sincere belief in yourself and willingness to take action towards your dreams. Believe me, you have what it takes. Just follow what British Prime Minister, Winston Churchill said in World War II: "...never give up, never give up." And you'll win the war.
"What is the world's greatest lie?" the little boy asks.
The old man replies, "It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie."
(An excerpt from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. A fable about following your dreams.)
Do you believe you have no control over your life? Are you who you are today, by choice or by fate? Will a change in your actions create a change in your life? Many people have given up on their dreams... they say, "Dreaming is only for the rich. When you have money, you can dream. When you have no money, don't dream."
That's true... not everyone is lucky enough to be born with a silver spoon. If you are lacking in funds, it's going to be difficult to start living life the way you want to. Money buys you freedom to follow your passions. But you don't have to give up on your dreams, just because you lack money. Depending on where you are brought up, you will face limitations depending on your family finance, culture, and environment. Some of us are born to have easy lives, while some are born to take a more challenging path. Perhaps the limitations and obstacles you face today are part of your journey -- you must overcome them to grow stronger on the path to achieving your goals.
When we are young, we all seem to have clear idea of what we want to be when we grow up. But somewhere along the way, these dreams get buried under the reality of daily living. The focus shifts from 'living the dream' to just 'finding a good job with a stable income'. "Survival first", as they call it. The sad part is that many people spend much of their lives doing what they don't like, so they can finally earn enough to start doing what they do like. I say, that's a great way to bury your happiness and turn into an economic slave. Doing what you dislike, day after day, will numb the sense of joy within you. Soon you will feel that your life has no greater purpose, and there is nothing to look forward to but work, work, work.... You will have forgotten how much fun it is to spend your time doing the things you like to do.
The Secret to Living Your Dreams
It's painful if you don't make enough money to live comfortably. But what’s more painful is if the work you do has no meaning to you. Everyday you can drag yourself to work, perform meaningless actions, and then drag yourself back home. Apart from sleeping, work takes up the majority of our time. So if you're not enjoying your work, you're not enjoying your life. And life is so short, isn't it? We probably have less than a hundred years to make our mark in this world. And you never know... you fail to look while crossing the road and BOOM! You could be gone tomorrow. So why spend your life doing something you don't like to do? We don't slog three-quarters of our lives just so we can enjoy one-quarter... we might not live that long. Realize that the essence of your life is happening right now -- you are walking a path; making your journey through life. And if the work you do, is not designed to help you fulfill your higher purpose in life, then perhaps you are walking in the wrong direction. No point taking this path... change direction.
For your dream to stay alive, you have to act on it. It's like a fire that grows brighter and stronger if you fan its flames and keep adding wood. If you leave the fire alone, never doing anything to keep it alive, it will burn itself out. When you fail to act on your dreams, they die.
A little girl called Leanne wants to be a ballerina. But her family is poor and unable to afford the fees of the fine arts dance school. Her father tells her not to dream because dreaming is only for the rich. But her mother says, "Lea, you can be whatever you want to be. As long as you put your heart into it, and never give up. Always hold on to your dreams because when there's a will, there's a way."
Leanne remembered her mother's words. She paid her way through a college degree in the fine arts, using money she earned from working full-time. She was talent scouted by the Royal Dance and Music Theatre of England, where she began her illustrious career as a ballerina. Earning in British pounds, she made more than enough to support her family and give them a comfortable lifestyle.
Leanne had a choice... to fervently believe in her dreams, and do whatever it takes to achieve it, or believe the World's Greatest Lie... that at some point in her life, she lost control, and fate took over. She had to have the courage to step up to her dreams, and not give up just because she lacked money. If she listened to her father and put her love aside because dreaming was only for the rich, then she wouldn't have lived to experience her passion. She would pass on from this world, with the music still left within her... buried under some obscure belief that she could never make money doing what she loved to do.
There is music within you, and you only need to coax it out. The daily grind forces us to forget what we love to do. Imagine you're retired… You have enough money to live comfortably, but not to splurge. How would you spend your time? What activities would you find purpose in? What would you do to amuse yourself? If you have an idea of what you would love to do but are not doing, then schedule some time everyday to do it. Making time for what you love is just like fanning the flames of your passion -- the fire can only grow stronger. It's what will bring a sense of purpose and meaning into your life; that spark of joy and wonder.
The happiest people are those who enjoy their work. They've managed to make money doing what they love to do, just like Leanne. And this can happen for you... if you are willing to reject the World's Greatest Lie. Realize that you always have control over your actions, and therefore your results. The only time your start to fail in life, is when you stop believing in your ability to make a difference. You don't need a silver spoon; you don't need to be a genius. What you need is a sincere belief in yourself and willingness to take action towards your dreams. Believe me, you have what it takes. Just follow what British Prime Minister, Winston Churchill said in World War II: "...never give up, never give up." And you'll win the war.
January 13, 2006
How to Cure Hiccups
If you’ve lived long enough, you know that one of the rare and frustrating complications you can get is the hiccup. There are some weird theories of why hiccups occur – you eat too fast, you trap air with your food; you breathed air into your tummy; the methane in your bowels is trying to escape through your stomach…. I’m sure you’ve heard many acclaimed cures like holding your breath till you turn blue in the face, drinking backwards from a glass of water, or breathing out all your air and jumping up and down. But when you tried them, they didn’t work, now did they.
A hiccup is caused by an involuntary contraction of the diaphragm – a dome-shaped muscle underneath your lungs. The diaphragm helps you breathe by flexing downwards to help your lungs pull in air, and bending upwards to help push air out. Sometimes the diaphragm gets irritated and goes out of rhythm with your lungs. Hiccups are your body’s way of trying to correct your breathing pattern. The problem is, the deeper you breathe, the stronger your hiccup gets. Your diaphragm is already out of rhythm, so breathing harder will only irritate it more. The secret to calming the diaphragm and realigning it is deliberate short intense breathing through the nose.
The next time you get hiccups, try this technique:
- Lie down on your bed or any flat surface.
- Close your mouth. (Breathe through your nose.)
- Put your hand on your belly.
- Take a short sharp breath in, and feel your tummy go up (Your diaphragm expands). Imagine you have the lung capacity of a sparrow, and breathe no more than that.
- Breathe out short and sharp, and feel your tummy go down (Your diaphragm contracts).
- Continue this action for 3-5 minutes. You will suddenly realize you have not been hiccupping.
A Frenchwoman taught me a technique, where you would put a tablespoon into a glass of water. You would allow the end of the spoon to touch your forehead, while you drink slowly from the glass. You will find you need to bend your head back to finish the glass of water. Here, the spoon helps put your head at the correct angle for proper breathing. I found this technique to work well, but I soon discovered that it’s not the water that was doing the magic, but the controlled breathing and head tilted back posture (as if you are looking up at the moon). So lie down and try the deliberate, short, intense breathing first. If it works, your diaphragm will realign, your hiccups will stop, and you may give out a couple of burps. Otherwise, get that glass of water and put that spoon in….
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